One Old Rooster and the ChickInCharge Live Here
by temari13
Summary: She slammed her fists on the desk, standing up with such force that her chair crashed to the floor. "All right, Kyouraku Shunsui! Wherever you are, you had better start praying for mercy!"
1. Chick in Charge

* * *

I was at a friend of the family's house, and saw a plaque on the wall that said "One Old Rooster and the Chick-In-Charge Live Here." I immediately thought of Kyouraku and Nanao, and got busy writing this. My sister read it, and nearly burst out laughing. They may be OOC, but sometimes, they're more funny that way. Read and review! No cursing in the reviews, please.

"Nanao-chan! Where are you?"

Ise Nanao groaned upon hearing the sing-songy voice of her taicho. _"You've got to be kidding me. Why can't he just leave me alone?"_ She was tempted to run and hide, but knew that she had paperwork to finish. If she didn't do it now, it would never get done.

"Oh, there you are, Nanao-chan! I was looking everywhere for you!" Kyouraku Shunsui poked his head into the office.

"I don't know why you would do that. I'm always in the office." Nanao stated dryly.

Kyouraku paused. He wasn't sure if she was joking or not. He decided not to respond to her statement. "I have something for you."

Nanao eyed him warily. Last time he had said that, she had ended up with a huge jug of sake which he had proceeded to drink. "What is it now?"

Kyouraku stepped into the room, a huge stack of paperwork in his arms. "This, my dear Nanao-chan, is all for you."

"That's just what I always wanted. Thank you."

The man ignored the tone of her voice and set the papers on her desk. "You're quite welcome, Nanao-chan." He spoke cheerfully. "Now, while you do this, I'll be out with Jyuushirou. Have fun!" He disappeared, whistling to himself.

Nanao stared in disbelief. Of all the things her taicho had ever done, this took the cake. She was mad. No, she was beyond mad. She was furious!

She slammed her fists on the desk, standing with such force that her chair crashed to the floor. "All right, Kyouraku Shunsui! Wherever you are, you had better start praying for mercy!"

Nanao practically flew out of the office, intent on finding and destroying her taicho. She jumped onto the roof so she could go faster. He had said he would be with Ukitake Jyuushirou, so she decided to check the library first.

Slamming the door open, her eyes scanned the room. Not seeing him there, she dashed to the next room. She continued on for ten minutes before she found him.

Kyouraku was standing by a bookcase, flipping through a book. He sensed her riatsu and looked up in time to get a fist in the face.

"Oh, my, Shunsui. What did you do now?" Ukitake sighed.

"Why do you always insist on leaving me with the paperwork?! You're the taicho! You should be doing it, not me! Now I want you to march directly back to the office, sit down at your desk, and finish the work _I_ started." She crossed her arms and glared defiantly at him. Her glasses slipped down her nose, but she didn't push them up. It would have ruined the effect she was trying to make.

Kyouraku stared at her, his mouth opening and closing. He had never seen Nanao this ticked. Not wanting to anger her further, he muttered. "Yes, Nanao-chan."

"Good. Now go." She pointed to the door and followed him out.

It was a very solemn Kyouraku that walked into the office. Nanao watched with an eagle's eye as he pulled some paperwork towards him and began to work.

Smiling to herself, she settled down in her chair and closed her eyes. Now, it was her turn to relax.

Meanwhile, two Shinigami huddled together outside of the office, talking about the sight they had seen a few minutes before.

"I can't believe she managed to get him to do the work."

"Yeah, I know. Kind of makes you wonder who's really in charge."

Nanao, of course, heard every word they said. She smirked upon hearing Kyouraku sigh. Let him suffer for now. She would make up for it later.


	2. Paperwork

Well, this is part two of this series. I'm not sure how many more I can come up with, but I'll certainly try. That is, if you all keep reading and reviewing. I won't continue if you guys aren't interested, so read and review, please!

They may be OOC.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

Ise Nanao glanced at the clock and sighed. It was twenty-three past seven in the evening, and paperwork was still piled up on her desk. It seemed as if she were never going to be able to leave.

Her gaze slid over to the other person occupying the room. Kyouraku Shunsui, taichi of the 8th Division, had his head resting on his desk and was snoring softly.

Nanao's eyebrow twitched. Here she was, slaving away, while her taicho napped away a hangover. She couldn't understand why he didn't wait until after the work was finished to drink. That seemed to be a more logical way. Kyouraku-taicho, however, was not logical. He preferred to drink in the morning, the afternoon, the evening, and any time in between, thus leaving the Division's paperwork in its entirety to his fukutaicho, Ise Nanao.

She could feel a migraine brewing. Rubbing her temple with her fingers, she sighed again. She decided to attempt to plead with him. She rose from her chair and strode over to where he sat snoozing. She placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly in order to get him to wake up. "Kyouraku-taicho, please finish at least some of the paperwork? You know that tomorrow there will be even more on your desk."

Kyouraku raised his head and stared at Nanao through the haze surrounding him. "Why would I do that, Nanao-chan? I'll just do it in the morning."

"Sir, you won't do it in the morning. You'll ignore it once again, and the pile will grow even larger." Nanao shoved some papers out of the way to reach one paper in particular. "Look at this! It's from two days ago!"

The man blinked, trying to focus on the sheet that had been pushed in his face. "Oh, so that's where it went."

"Is that all you can say?!" Nanao sputtered incredulously.

Kyouraku sighed and took a long swig of sake. "If there's one thing I've learned, my sweet Nanao-chan,"he spoke, "paperwork will not sprout legs and walk away, no matter how much sake you drink."

Nanao's mouth opened and closed. She wasn't sure if she should laugh or throw something at him. Her mind raced to find a good comeback, but they all eluded her. She threw her hands in the air. "Fine! Leave and drink yourself into a stupor! I'll do the paperwork!" Spinning on her heel, she stalked over to her desk, plopped onto the chair, and buried her face in her hands. After taking a deep breath, she peeked an eye open to survey the work awaiting her. She started in surprise when she saw her taicho still sitting at his desk, quietly working on the piles of papers.

"Kyouraku-taicho?" She breathed, hardly speaking above a whisper for fear she'd wake up from this wonderful dream.

"I decided, Nanao-chan, that I would rather sit here and do my work with you than go off alone and drink without you."

Once again, Nanao was shocked speechless. Being speechless once a day was a big deal, two times a day an even bigger deal. She finally gave up on saying anything and just smiled. But as it turned out, she hadn't needed to say a word.

The smile on her face spoke for her.


	3. Taicho Rights

Again, the characters may be OOC.

Spoiler Warning: If you don't read the manga, there are some small spoilers.

Dedicated to KyourakuZelda: Thanks for the idea!

* * *

Ise Nanao silently hummed a little tune under her breath. She was waiting anxiously for the lieutenant/captain meeting to be over. She jiggled her right leg, irritated. She hated having to stand still. Now, she didn't mind _sitting_ still (as long as she had something to do), but _standing_ still? Forget it.

From the corner of her eye, she glanced at everyone else in the room. When she had first become lieutenant, she had worked hard at remembering the names of everyone important, and what division they represented. Now, she prided herself on her knowledge. At the front of the room stood Yamamoto Genryuusai, the head captain of all the thirteen squads. He was briefing them on the stand they were going to take against Aizen Sousuke, and all that it involved. Sasakibe Choujirou, his lieutenant, stood on his right.

To her far right was the 2nd Division captian and lieutenant, Soi Fong and Oomaeda Marechiyo, respectively. She raised an eyebrow upon seeing some crumbs fall to the ground. Was he eating _again_? That fool was sure to be in hot water with Soi Fong if he didn't stop embarrassing her. No, scratch that, she thought as Soi Fong elbowed Marechiyo in the stomach. He _was_ in hot water.

The 3rd Division was next. Since Ichimaru Gin had fled to Hueco Mundo, Kira Izuru was acting captain. He had that same, solemn look on his face. Nanao swore that his face had frozen that way.

The 4th Division consisted of Unohana Retsu and Koutestu Isane. Unohana had a gentle look on her face, as usual, but Nanao didn't doubt that in an instant, her friendly face could turn deadly.

There was no one present for the 5th Division. Aizen had betrayed them, and Hinamori Momo was in no condition to be fighting, since her mental state was still shaky at best.

Kuchiki Byakuya and Abarai Renji were in the 6th Division. Byakuya's noble training showed. He stood tall and proud. Renji was beside him, eyes fixed on Yamamoto, not moving a muscle. Nanao wondered if perhaps, Renji was trying to impress his captain. Everyone knew that Renji was sweet on Byakuya's little sister, Rukia.

The 7th Division consisted of Komamura Sajin and Iba Tetsuzaemon. Nanao didn't know too much about them, except for the fact that Komamura had been friends with Tousen Kaname, the former captain of Division 9.

Speaking of the 9th Division, Hisagi Shuuhei was there as acting captain. He had a grim look on his face, and Nanao thought that maybe it had to do with the upcoming battle.

Hitsugaya Toushirou and Matsumoto Rangiku, captain and lieutenant, stood quietly. Nanao found it quite amusing that a short person like Toushirou could be one of the most powerful captains present.

Zaraki Kenpachi and Kusajika Yachiru, from the 11th Division, were waiting impatiently. Or rather, Kenpachi was. It was obvious that he could hardly wait to get in on the action. Yachiru just smiled as she hung on his shoulder.

Kurotsuchi Mayuri and Nemu were also there. Nemu's hands were folded in front of her, and although she was looking at Yamamoto, her head was slightly bent towards the ground. Nanao knew it must be difficult to be under Mayuri, and had tried to befriend Nemu on several occasions. But the girl remained in her shell.

Ukitake Jyuushiro was in the 13th Division. Since he hadn't chosen a lieutenant after Shiba Kaien had died, he was by himself, but Nanao knew that Kiyone and Sentarou would die to be with him.

Nanao's musings were interrupted by Yamamoto saying that some captains and lieutenants were heading to Hueco Mundo to assist Kurosaki Ichigo and his friends in rescuing Inoue Orihime. She held her breath, trying to decide which option she preferred: fighting in "Karakura Town" or fighting in Hueco Mundo. She heard a slight snore and glanced behind her. Kyouraku-taicho had fallen asleep.

She tried to keep anything from showing on her face. Yamamoto would be furious if he discovered that Kyouraku was snoozing while he was speaking. Nanao moved her foot slowly, and pressed down on her taicho's foot. No response. She racked her brain for any ideas on how to wake him up without causing a disturbance. She couldn't shake him awake. Maybe if she pretended to sneeze, that would wake him up. No one could blame her for sneezing. No, that wouldn't work. He had fallen asleep several times at his desk, and once she had sneezed four times, and he hadn't even stirred.

She was just about to elbow him when he laughed. No, she thought as everyone turned to stare. It hadn't been a laugh. More like a...a giggle? Was he dreaming about something? Or someone?

"You like that, hm? What if I do this? Or this?" Kyouraku's mumblings were getting louder.

Ukitake sighed. "He can't wait to have those dreams until he's alone?"

"Ise Nanao." Yamamoto's voice boomed. "Wake up Shunsui at once."

"Yes, Sir." Nanao moved her hand to his arm. "Kyou-" It was then that she smelled the alcohol on his breath. Her eyes widened. When had he gotten the chance to drink? She hadn't let him out of her sight since he had gotten up. Except...

She groaned inwardly. There had been that short trip to the lady's room that she had taken. "Great. Just great." She muttered softly. She was about to slap him when he spoke again.

"What's that? You want me to do that again? Oh, Nanao-chan! I thought you'd never ask!"

Nanao's eyes widened and her face flushed bright red. With a swing of her arm, she slapped him across the face. Hard.

Kyouraku's eyes flew open. "Wh-what? Oh, Nanao-chan! How lovely to see you again!" He paused. "Did I fall asleep?"

Nanao's eyebrow twitched. "Yes."

The smile that had been on his face disappeared. "You're mad at me, Nanao-chan. What did I say?"

"Nothing that I am going to repeat."

He frowned slightly, oblivious once more to the other occupants of the room. "I wonder...was I dreaming about last night?"

Gasps of shock echoed throughout the room. Nanao wanted to murder her captain. Or hide. Or both.

Yamamoto cleared his throat. "If you are done, Shunsui, I will continue."

"Eh? Oh, yes, of course." He smiled. "Carry on."

No one's mind was on what the old man said anymore. They were too busy whispering about Kyouraku's statement. Nanao counted backwards in her head to keep her composure. It wasn't working. Her cheeks still red as a tomato, Nanao had all she could do to keep from looking down when she so desperately wanted to.

Kyouraku kept an eye on her throughout the rest of the meeting. She seemed distressed, and he knew that as soon as the meeting was over, she would flee to the safety of her barracks. He wanted to touch her, let her know that everything was all right, but he restrained himself. After all, they were in an important meeting.

Nanao kept her gaze fixed straight ahead. She could feel everyone staring at her, could hear them talking about her. But she would not give them the satisfaction of knowing that it was bugging her. She had just managed to force the blush from her cheeks when she felt something brush against her arm. She tensed slightly, and realized it was her captain's hand. Turning slightly, she saw his worried expression. She gave a tiny nod, indicating that she was fine. He nodded in reply.

She focused again on Head-Captain Yamamoto. Ten seconds later, she felt the same pressure as before. _"Kyouraku-taicho!" _She stepped on his foot, hard, and he stopped. She remained on alert, but that didn't stop her from being surprised when he ran a finger down her arm. "Stop!" She hissed viciously. This time, he didn't listen, giving her an 'I'm-the-taicho-you-aren't-so-I-don't-have-to-listen-to-you' look.

Nanao was trapped. She couldn't escape from him unless she wanted to disrupt the meeting and incur Yamamoto's wrath. So she struggled to endure it. And for a while, she did. But then he lightly touched her back, and she very nearly fell apart. He traced her spine upward. She suppressed a gasp as he teasingly pulled on her shirt. Her knees weakened. He knew the right-

_Oh!_

Her mouth opened when he touched her bottom. That was the final straw. Completely forgetting where she was standing, she whirled around and began her rant. "How dare you? You call yourself a taicho! Keep your hands to yourself or I'll threaten sexual harassment!"

Kyouraku's eyes widened. "Sexual harassment? But you didn't mind the other times I touched you there."

She raised her hand to slap him, but he deftly caught it and pressed a kiss to her fingers. "Nanao-chan, you've hurt my feelings." He pouted. "Kiss me to make it better?"

"Nev-" She started to say, but didn't get to finish before his lips met hers. A few seconds later, they pulled apart. "Shunsui..." She whispered. She touched his cheek.

Applause broke out around them, startling them. Soon, they were swarmed by the other captains and lieutenants.

"Congratulations! I didn't know you were together! Nanao, if you ever need advice, talk to me. I can help!" Rangiku squealed.

"Ise-fukutaicho, come immediately to me if you are not feeling well for some reason. Side effects are normally morning sickness, fatigue, and unusual eating habits." Unohana eyed Kyouraku suspiciously, who merely smiled.

"Well, if you do end up having brats, would you let me experiment -uh, I mean- _examine_ them?" Mayuri waved his hands, excited at the prospect of having a new lab subject.

"Ken-chan, what did they do with their mouths? Can we do that, too?!" Yachiro chattered happily.

"Well, Shunsui, you did manage to steal her heart. Congratulations." Ukitake smiled and slapped his friend on the back.

Nanao groaned, burying her face in Kyouraku's chest. That just made things worse. Finally, Kyouraku could stand seeing his Nanao-chan so upset no longer. He gathered her up in his arms and vanished. When they were back at his quarters, he laid her on his futon, running his hand down her smooth cheek.

She promptly smacked his hand away. "I hope you know that I am very displeased right now. I hope you are happy that my reputation has been ruined. I will no longer be able to show my face in public." She stated, her eyes narrowed. "I will not be speaking to you until further notice." With that, she stood up and stalked out of the room, her head held high.

Kyouraku stared after her. He sighed."Sexual harassment, she says. Taicho rights, says I." He grinned. When had he ever left Nanao alone simply because she was mad at him? He practically skipped out of the room. When it came to her, he was a sucker for punishment.


	4. Water Bill

Another random idea for my non-related Kyouraku/Nanao stories. I have no idea if the captains have like water bills or whatever that they need to pay, but in this story, they do. Oh, by the way, am I spelling riatsu correctly?

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

* * *

"Gah! This is impossible!" Nanao Ise flung her hands into the air, growling. _"I don't understand why he is so insistent that he must use all this water. The bill is basically sky high!"_ She took off her glasses, setting them on the desk, and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Kyouraku Shunsui glanced over from his desk. "What is impossible, Nanao-chan?"

"This!" She grabbed a fistful of papers and waved them in the air.

"The papers are impossible?" He questioned, slightly confused.

"No, not the papers! The reason for them!" She slipped her glasses back on so she could glare at the offending papers.

"Nanao-chan, you aren't making any sense. Perhaps you've been working too hard. You need to take some time off." He said gently, then snapped his fingers. "Ah! Why don't you let me rub your shoulders, hm? That would help ease the tension in your shoulders." He rolled his sleeves up, eager to get to work. It wasn't every day that he was able to touch his Nanao-chan.

"I appreciate the offer, Sir, but no, thank you. And would you please stop talking? I am much too upset to be carrying on a conversation."

Shunsui slouched in his chair. Shot down! His Nanao-chan could be so heartless sometimes. But that was one reason he loved her. He loved her feisty nature, and the rare, beautiful smile he sometimes had a chance to witness. "And, Nanao-chan, what is the reason for the papers?" He tilted his head.

"You are, Sir."

"M-Me?" He sputtered, taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"These are bills, Sir. The water bills, to be precise. They are unusually high. Have you been taking long baths again?" She looked pointedly at him.

"Why, Nanao-chan, what a question to ask your taicho!" He chided. "And if I have?"

"You need to stop, Kyouraku-taicho."

"I most certainly cannot. When you are lounging in the bathtub for an hour or so, the water gets cold. So I merely add in hot water. It doesn't hurt anything." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"Except for our wallet." Nanao muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Sir." She sighed, stacking the papers neatly. If just asking him to stop wasn't working, then she had to use the only other option. She stood up.

The movement caught Kyouraku's attention, and he looked up to see his lovely fukutaicho stepping towards him. A thrill coursed through his body. _"Finally, she has come to her senses and has realized how much she loves me and wants me!"_ He managed to refrain from clapping gleefully.

"Kyouraku-taicho, if you continue with these long baths and run up the water bills, 8th Division may soon run out of money. And if that happens, I don't know what Head Captain Yamamotou will do. I am simply worried about you." She whispered, her dark eyes showing that her words were true.

"Ah, Nanao-chan, I am honored to know that you worry about me." He patted her arm lovingly. He noticed her flinch slightly at his touch, but ignored it. "If it means that much to you, then I will do everything in my power to cut back. And you will as well, right?"

"Yes, Sir. I will." Nanao gave him a tiny smile.

"Wonderful!" This time he did clap his hands. "I will see you tomorrow morning at seven!"

"Sir?" Nanao looked puzzled. Her taicho normally didn't come to the office until late morning.

"I have waited for this for such a long time, Nanao-chan."

"With all due respect, I am not following what you are saying."

"You will come to my quarters at seven, and then we can take our baths together! Won't it be fun, Nanao-chan?"

Nanao stared in horror at the man before her. She felt her cheeks burn. Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Finally, she found her voice. "That is scandalous! Simply and unashamedly scandalous! There is no way that I would even accept that offer, let alone _think_ about it!"

Her taicho's face fell. "Oh, but Nanao-chan, it will save on the water bill."

"Absolutely not! For that comment, Kyouraku-taicho, you may do the paperwork on your own. I am going to take your earlier advice and take some time off. Good-bye." With that, she whirled on her heel and stormed out of the office. Once in the hallway, she masked her riatsu and sneaked a peek at her taicho. He was still sitting at the desk, looking very dejected. Her resolve weakened slightly, but she refused to give in to that man's perverted fantasies. She left.

Kyouraku couldn't concentrate the rest of the day. He only got through half of what was supposed to be done, and even then, the papers were riddled with mistakes. He finally gave up and left, thinking that a nice, long, hot bath sounded really good. But he stopped. No, he must save on the water bill. He could do that for his Nanao-chan who worked so hard. He would just go drink sake instead. But first, he had a quick stop he had to make.

Nanao opened the door to her quarters. Although she had taken the day off, she hasn't spent it relaxing. No, she had been at the training grounds working off her frustration. A quick shower would be fine, she decided. She rushed through it, not wanting to waste any water. Wrapping a towel around her body, she picked up her dirty clothes and made her way to the bedroom. She turned on the light, and started in surprise when she saw a box on her pillow. She was curious. Dropping her clothes, she lifted the box and cautiously opened it. Inside, were eight chocolates. All were her favorite kind. There was a note inside.

_My dear Nanao-chan,_

_I sincerely hope that you will accept these chocolates and my apology. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable in any way, and I wish I could take those words back. Enjoy the chocolates. I will see you tomorrow at ten._

_Kyouraku Shunsui_

Nanao couldn't help but smile as she picked up a candy and stuck it in her mouth. Her taicho wasn't all that bad, she supposed. She looked at the clock. It was late and she had better get to bed now.

She had to be up early in order to be at Kyouraku-taicho's quarters by seven.


End file.
